“You’re still not eating enough.”

Tsk. Words you wish you could hear while dieting, words you wish you never hear …. after dieting.

After months of trying, I still cannot reach the weight I’m supposed to be. My trainer says I have to eat more. MORE. Since the beginning of 2012, my weight has hovered at 66 to 67 kg.  It used to be that going to gym, I’d worry about not having lost enough weight. Nowadays, I am anxious that my weight hasn’t gone up. And it hasn’t. My trainer would like to see me at 70kg – still some 3 kg to gain.

On Friday I ascended the weighing machine at the gym, and felt a tinge of fear as the numbers rolled. To my disappointment, I had dropped another 0.1 kg since Wednesday. 66.8 kg.

Wait a minute, isn’t this a weight loss blog? What the heck am I taking about?? In case you’re new to this blog, my weight loss journey has been so successful that I’ve been told I need to gain weight. Gain muscle mass, to be precise. Remember, being underweight is not a license to gain fat.

So, go eat, my trainer tells me. Eat more, have more carbs, but not too much. Put on a little fat if you have. We’ll burn it off along the way.

Basically, I have been  put on a mission to gain weight.

So over the weekend, I tried my very best to avoid healthy meals. Just for the heck of it. Actually, my trainer does often suggest that it’s ok to indulge a little over the weekend. A lot of gym-going people do it.

It was ice-skating Saturday morning – I got my girl out of bed early so we could go to MacDonald’s before the session. I had a sausage egg McMuffin – I ate the whole egg AND the hash brown, without guilt.

For lunch, I had fried bee hoon with ngoh hiang, all fried! Not deep fried, but still fried.

For dinner, I had yong tau hu, my usual healthy meal… except this time with laksa gravy!

And I even had a slice of multi-grain bread with low-fat cheese, close to mid-night.

On Sunday, I enjoyed breakfast with my girls. I had three takoyaki balls, two slices of whole meal bread with peanut butter and jam, and share some cereal and blueberries with my littlest girl.

For lunch, a sinful bowl of mee rebus with TWO mini-sardine puffs – one of my favourite things from my Fat Era.

A small bowl of yong tau hu for dinner, a handful of wholemeal cinnamon crisps at 8pm. Then, a half-cup of milk with protein powder, a handful of blueberries and dried peaches, and 3 slices of papaya at 10pm.

Do I feel fattened? Pinching my stomach, not really. Maybe a little.

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